So You're Off to the Hospital?

Packing, especially packing light, is not my strong point. I often get over-excited, forget important stuff and pack completely absurd things. I lived up to this norm when, in the middle of the night, I had to re-pack my go bag.

As faithful readers of the blog may recall, after I'd been in what we decided to call labour, but really wasn't, for about 24 hours, we got booted from the birth center and told to go have the baby in the hospital.

We were in no rush to transfer so we went home and napped for a few hours first. Or at least my husband did. I think I lay down for awhile.

And then I took some phone calls. And then I started repacking, as my go bag had been packed for a happy birth experience at the birth center, and a quick trip home afterwards. Suddenly a whole different set of rules would apply: I'd be stuck there much longer afterwards, I'd not be allowed to eat, etc.

So, from my go bag, I removed:

• food that couldn't be eaten sneakily (glad I kept nuts and granola bars - the hospital rations were not enough to labour or start lactating on)
• iPod and speakers (figuring I'd not be allowed to use them)
• diapers (the birth center said to bring them, but I knew the hospital would be provide them)
  

I added in:

• our last will and testament, our medical power of attorney and our medical insurance cards
• my laptop (birth center has no wifi but I guessed correctly that the hospital would)
  
• underwear and nursing bras
• chargers for various devices (camera, mobile phones, laptop)
  

I was really glad I had:

• chargers! The hospital kept the baby, and thus me, for 48 hours after birth, and I had a lot of calls to make.
• laptop. The hospital had free wifi and for the few hours I wasn't sleeping and the baby was, I was glad to have some distraction from the sterility of the place and my anxiety about what to do with this gorgeous little creature.
  

I'm still not sure what I was thinking when I included:

• underwear and bras. The hospital provided disposable underwear because, like a normal woman who's just given birth, I was bleeding a bit more than normal monthlies. And a bra? As if I'm going to put on a bra when I was in so uncomfortable that I was afraid to pass gas because I was worried my bits would fall out.
• last will and testament. If I didn't survive whatever medical intervention they were going to inflict on me, I'm sure my affairs could wait until my husband located the document in the apartment.
  

Finally, I wish I'd had more snack food. The food served by the hospital unfortunately really lived up to the stereotype of hospital food, plus was exceedingly modest in quantity. I know I was looking forward to losing some pregnancy weight, but I wasn't ready to start just yet!

I'm glad to report that on a recent trip with the baby to see her great-grandmother, I packed much more appropriately. I wore all clothes at least once and the only thing I felt I should have brought more of was trousers for the baby. I don't think anyone else noticed she only had two pair for four days.

Got any packing wisdom to share? Birth or baby pick up hospital packing stories on tap?

My 5 Biggest Breastfeeding Surprises

As I've previously mentioned, I thought I knew what I was doing going into this breastfeeding thing. However, I feel compelled to mention that I'm typing with one hand as I finger-feed Em with the other hand. Sure, we know just what we're doing!

1. Well, the troubles we've had latching at all definitely surprised me. I figured we'd not latch correctly and maybe I'd be in some pain. I never thought I'd just straight up be starving her! That made me, and continues to make me, feel pretty much like a failure at breastfeeding. We continue to work on it and we're going back to see the lactation consultant later this week. She's now passed her birth weight without a drop of formula and that's A Good Thing, at any rate.
2. Physically, the effects of breastfeeding have been normal but their effects on me were still a surprise: it's really thirsty work! I always drink a lot of water, but lately it's been an unbelievable amount of water. I'm going to need the change the filter on our water pitcher sooner than normal. Also, I've read a lot of conflicting info on whether or not breastfeeding helps lose pregnancy weight - the latest word seems to be that for some it does, some it doesn't. I pessimistically expected to be one of the doesn't - but either I was going to lose the weight easily on my own, or it really helps. Em's only be out almost four weeks and I'm already in the middle of my normal pre-pregnancy weight range. I stil have muscle to regain and fat to lose, but I'm well on my way.
3. Also not the biggest surprise yet, but I'm shocked at how much money I'm spending on breastfeeding. I'm sure it's still cheaper than formula, but I'm not going to sit down and sum it up, just in case it's not. The lactation consultant, the pump, the not-optional pump accessories, the scale, the bras, the nipple shield, the storage bags and bottles, etc... I hadn't expected to lay out so much dough to keep her in my own milk.
4. If someone has asked me before giving birth how much ego I have wrapped up in breastfeeding, or how disappointed I'd be if I were unable to breastfeed directly, only by pumping, I think I would have said very little. I remember telling my doula that I would give it my best shot but I wasn't going to beat myself up over any failure. Ha. Little did I know... My own emotional reaction to having to pump almost exclusively to feed Em has been a huge surprise for me. Most of the time, I feel sad but ok about it. Sometimes in the middle of the night, as I'm literally pumping and feeding her with a syringe at the same time, I feel like a huge failure and extremely frustrated at the intervention between her and I. However, I feel like we are going to make it past this. Whozat's breastfeeding story sustains me too - if they can overcome what they were faced with, I can get this little girl on my breast.
5. The biggest surprise about breastfeeding so far is this: sudenly I want to, and do, sleep in my bra. I've always hated wearing bras, and when a friend said I shoud be sleeping in one during pregnancy, I laughed to myself at the idea. I think I've never found a bra that fits well and because of that, when I am wearing one, I am aching to rip it off as soon as I get home. I used to be able to go without a bra on weekends and whatnot, but not anymore! My breasts are so sensitive and leaky now that going without isn't an option. Even so, sleeping in a (soft, no underwire) bra is quite weird for me - I never thought I'd see the day where I'd willingly (and soberly) wear a bra to sleep.

What surprised you most about breastfeeding? Were your expectations wildly off base?