My 5 Biggest Breastfeeding Surprises

As I've previously mentioned, I thought I knew what I was doing going into this breastfeeding thing. However, I feel compelled to mention that I'm typing with one hand as I finger-feed Em with the other hand. Sure, we know just what we're doing!

1. Well, the troubles we've had latching at all definitely surprised me. I figured we'd not latch correctly and maybe I'd be in some pain. I never thought I'd just straight up be starving her! That made me, and continues to make me, feel pretty much like a failure at breastfeeding. We continue to work on it and we're going back to see the lactation consultant later this week. She's now passed her birth weight without a drop of formula and that's A Good Thing, at any rate.
2. Physically, the effects of breastfeeding have been normal but their effects on me were still a surprise: it's really thirsty work! I always drink a lot of water, but lately it's been an unbelievable amount of water. I'm going to need the change the filter on our water pitcher sooner than normal. Also, I've read a lot of conflicting info on whether or not breastfeeding helps lose pregnancy weight - the latest word seems to be that for some it does, some it doesn't. I pessimistically expected to be one of the doesn't - but either I was going to lose the weight easily on my own, or it really helps. Em's only be out almost four weeks and I'm already in the middle of my normal pre-pregnancy weight range. I stil have muscle to regain and fat to lose, but I'm well on my way.
3. Also not the biggest surprise yet, but I'm shocked at how much money I'm spending on breastfeeding. I'm sure it's still cheaper than formula, but I'm not going to sit down and sum it up, just in case it's not. The lactation consultant, the pump, the not-optional pump accessories, the scale, the bras, the nipple shield, the storage bags and bottles, etc... I hadn't expected to lay out so much dough to keep her in my own milk.
4. If someone has asked me before giving birth how much ego I have wrapped up in breastfeeding, or how disappointed I'd be if I were unable to breastfeed directly, only by pumping, I think I would have said very little. I remember telling my doula that I would give it my best shot but I wasn't going to beat myself up over any failure. Ha. Little did I know... My own emotional reaction to having to pump almost exclusively to feed Em has been a huge surprise for me. Most of the time, I feel sad but ok about it. Sometimes in the middle of the night, as I'm literally pumping and feeding her with a syringe at the same time, I feel like a huge failure and extremely frustrated at the intervention between her and I. However, I feel like we are going to make it past this. Whozat's breastfeeding story sustains me too - if they can overcome what they were faced with, I can get this little girl on my breast.
5. The biggest surprise about breastfeeding so far is this: sudenly I want to, and do, sleep in my bra. I've always hated wearing bras, and when a friend said I shoud be sleeping in one during pregnancy, I laughed to myself at the idea. I think I've never found a bra that fits well and because of that, when I am wearing one, I am aching to rip it off as soon as I get home. I used to be able to go without a bra on weekends and whatnot, but not anymore! My breasts are so sensitive and leaky now that going without isn't an option. Even so, sleeping in a (soft, no underwire) bra is quite weird for me - I never thought I'd see the day where I'd willingly (and soberly) wear a bra to sleep.

What surprised you most about breastfeeding? Were your expectations wildly off base?

Quick 'n' Dirty Book Reviews: Three Books on Breastfeeding

I don't seem to be motivated to sit and write proper reviews of these books right now, so I'm going to knock out a few thoughts and possibly return to them later. The irony of me reviewing books on breastfeeding before having done any breastfeeding does not escape me. All of these books were loaned to me by my doula.



First, the American Academy of Pediatrics publishes the New Mother's Guide to Breastfeeding. This isn't a bad book, but it's kind of basic and yet at the same time, makes things sound so complicated and scientific that it's rather daunting. I wish I hadn't read this book first out of the books I've read on breastfeeding.



Second, Nancy Mohrbacher and Kathleen Kendall-Tackett wrote Breastfeeding Made Simple: Seven Natural Laws for Nursing Mothers. This is an excellent book. It's very straightforward and brief (well, 250 pages isn't quite brief, but it seems brief compared to the next tome), but at the same time, it allows for a wide range of "normal" which I think is important. They've provided loads of troubleshooting strategies and some basic philosophies which sound accurate to me. I love this book and I'm so glad I read it. The approach of natural laws, with a chapter for each one, resonates with me. I strongly recommend this book.



La Leche League publishes the classic book The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and it's a huge book - 463 pages! I wasn't sure how you could possibly have so much to say about breastfeeding, until I started reading it, and realized that it's more of a parenting book. There are chapters on nutrition, returning to work, the father's role, etc. I think for the most part, the breastfeeding information is good.

Unfortunately, I have several huge beefs with this book, the biggest one is that it's blisteringly heterosexist. In the AAP book, it's largely written to mom and baby. Mohrbacher and Kendall-Tackett take more or less the same approach. Unfortunately, LLL have written a book (revised in 2004) that's more than just about the act of feeding the baby, and state at the beginning of the book that they feel that "breastfeeding and mothering progress more easily in (a heterosexual nuclear family) environment." They acknowledge how old school this is by saying they know there are single mothers out there. I guess no one has mentioned to them that parents come in more form factors than the man/woman dyad. Crikey.

I wish I'd skipped the chapter on returning to work. I read it hoping for useful information on pumping, migrating to pumping and bottle feeding, negotiating for time to pump at work, etc. However, the chapter was largely example after example of women who originally planned to return to work, and then fell in love with their babies so much they decided not to. Just between you, me and LLL: We'd go tits up pretty quick (pun intended) if I don't go back to work when my paid leave ends. I don't expect to be happy to be gone from the baby for 8 - 10 hours a day, but fortunately, I do love my job and I'll be leaving her with my DH, her dad, rather than strangers, so it shouldn't be too bad.

I haven't finished this book yet, and I'm not sure I'm going to. There's a chapter on discipline, and one on kids with special needs... I may just return this to my doula and ask for it back if I feel like I need it. The LLL book has loads of good info on breastfeeding but it's so wrapped up in this other opinionated junk that it makes me cranky reading it. Of course, I am kinda cranky right now anyway...