Hypnobabies Review

While helping me to create a birth plan, my doula suggested I consider hypnosis as part of my pain management plan. She said the Hypnobabies course was ... I don't recall the word: I think she said the course was the only birth hypnosis class that DONA accepts for continuing education credit, or something along those lines, but that I should look at a bunch of different classes and pick what works for me.

I did a bunch of reading and decided the HB was right for me. I can't remember why, but I think it was at least partly because the course helps to teach you to do hypnosis while being up and moving around. The others focused on hypnosis and delivery in the on your back position as far as I could tell.

So, I went to the HB website, put out about USD$200 for the self study course and overnight shipping, and started studying away. This review is just based on my experience with my purchase: I didn't get any free stuff from the good folks at HB.

As the stalwart readers who made it through our birth story know, I did rely on the HB CDs during labor, especially some of the middle part that was long and sometimes painful. By the time I had the epidural, I had kind of given up and had figured I was going off for a surgical birth anyway, so I wasn't really trying anymore.

During labor, it was great to have had that training in managing how my brain processed the feelings of labor, and for that I'm very thankful.

However, what was especially great for me, and the main reason I'd recommend the HB course to any pregnant lady I meet is the Pregnancy Affirmations recording. I am normally a person who worries. Sometimes I literally lose sleep while worrying about stuff: ironically, I will lie awake worrying at night about oversleeping and missing a flight. Somehow missing a flight is an earth-shattering catastrophe in my mind. I worry about money, my family, my health, my family's health.. etc.

That affirmation CD helped me be the most relaxed, happy pregnant lady you'd ever want to see. I figured pretty much everything was normal and healthy. During my slightly hilarious prenatal class at the birth center, everyone else always seemed so nervous. I'm guessing it's because I had repeating over and over in my iPod that everything's fine and wonderful.

I loved how useful the CDs were for me. What I didn't love:

• the name Hypnobabies. Who came up with that? I was embarrassed to talk about it. I kept picturing zombie babies. Weird.
• the book that came along with the CDs which purported to be the only prenatal class one would need. Most of it focused on preparing for birth, which was great, but I felt like when the author veered out into other topics, their far out man started showing. The author has some pretty wacky ideas about prenatal health: grain of salt here readers! And it was desperately badly edited: spelling and grammatical errors as far as the eye could see.

It just occurred to me that I've not posted about my prenatal class, the one I had to endure every other Wednesday afternoon in order to give birth there. And then get kicked out anyway. I must share that with you all at some point.

Has anyone else tried self hypnosis for birth or anything else? Any thoughts on the difference between hypnosis and mediation? I've never been clear on what distinguishes them.

Grateful

I'm glad I finally posted my birth story here for you to ogle and be impressed with. I found a lot of pleasure in re-reading it numerous times while editing and adding comments to it.

I've noticed that every time I get together with my doula, we end up rehashing the birth. I don't know how she feels, but I'm constantly coming back to the phone call to the midwives to let them know my water had broken Tuesday night.

I wish I hadn't made that call.

I wish I had said something to MidwifeL to let her know how little water had come out, or had remarked on how exaggerated women's water breaking on TV is (because it isn't - when they finally artificially broke the second bag of water, it was an absurd amount of water, and more and more kept coming out. I kept trying to clean it up, it was hilarious). Maybe that would have been a clue to her to ask me some questions.

I wish I'd stayed with my original instinct that everything was fine, that I wasn't yet really in labour, that there was no need to alert or alarm anyone just yet.

Because there wasn't. Emily was fine. She was still protected from any risk of GBS infection by the second bag of waters. Had we realized that, I wouldn't have needed/agreed to start the antibiotics, and then the subsequent cascade of interventions. I still think that Emily wasn't supposed to be born until August, and we pulled her out too soon. Ok, only a few days, but I think it would have been easier and more likely less medicated had we waited and let things progress naturally.

Someone on Twitter tweeted a link to You Should Be Grateful, an article written by a woman who had a cesearean delivery of her twin baby boys. She recounts how when she expresses remorse over her birth experience, people tell her things like all's well that ends well and that she should be grateful for the healthy babies, and to put the surgical delivery of her babies out of her mind.

She explains that she is delighted and in love with her babies, but that the way they came into the world was one of the worst days of her life. She doesn't regret her babies, just the surgical intervention that brought them out to her.

I feel the same way. Not quite the worst day of my life - the second day ended pretty nicely with Emily of course - but I feel like I was out of control. I know I said I felt like I owned the decisions but in retrospect, I realize that I didn't feel like I had any other viable choices.

I didn't have quite such a dramatic disappointment - I at least got to push Emily out and I'm not recovering from major abdominal surgery in addition to trying to get breastfeeding working. But the hospitalization, the artificial membrane rupture, the constant fetal monitoring, the Pitocin, the epidural: all of these things were things I wanted to avoid, and while I agreed to them in the moment, I only did so because I thought it necessary for the health and safety of my daughter. Ok, except the epidural, but anyway...

However, she was never in any danger, except from these interventions: in particular the combination of Pitocin and epidural. She was fine.

And I should have stayed home and off the phone. If there's a next time, this won't be forgotten.

I'm going to stop perpetuating the bullshit about putting this behind me and being grateful for Emily. I am grateful to have her with me; she has changed my life immeasurably in the almost six short weeks she's been with us so far. But I'm not likely to stop being angry about the huge diversion from the normal birth I had planned. There just wasn't any reason for it.

Baby Emily is here!

Just a quick note from my rocking chair to announce that Emily Alexandra was born last week. It was a long and difficult labor, and I ended up choosing several interventions that I hadn't wanted originally. However, I did avoid an unnecessary cesarean and I'm very glad for that.

My midwives rock. They totally fought (hospital staff) for me to not get cut open, and helped me deliver a 9 lb 4 oz baby vaginally with a one stitch tear!

We've posted a few photos on Flickr. If you have an account and aren't already a "friend/family" of mine on Flickr, let me know your username so I can add you. I've marked a few as for friend/family only for privacy.

We are at home now, taking it easy and getting into the swing of breastfeeding. It's going pretty well so far - two minor issues: she releases her latch quickly and then starts sucking her lower lip. She hasn't developed a blister yet but I'm worried she might. She's also very sleepy - she'll latch on, take a few sucks and conk out. I'm less worried about that, as it seems like when she is very hungry, she stays awake better.

When my awesome doula, who totally kept me sane during forty-eight hours of labor, sends me the birth story, I will probably edit it a bit for the TMI parts and post it here.

I am so happy. She is beautiful and healthy. More latah!

Selfish Reasons to Choose Natural Childbirth

I've not started drafting my birth plan yet. I mean, to be honest, it's almost completely written in my head (no drugs, yes tub, no bright lights, yes massage, no episiotomy, etc) but it feels too much like homework, and I'm in school until May. So, I probably won't put pen to paper (or whatever) until sometime after that.

However, it's definitely coming together in my mind. One thing that surprised me when I changed my mind about it was my decision to not take drugs to manage pain. Apparently, it's even more of a surprise to everyone else I talk to, based on the reactions I get.

Don't get me wrong, I like being an outlier sometimes, but I've also grown to feel strongly about this. Childbirth is something that most of us who haven't done it know most about through fictional depictions of it in TV and movies. So we don't have a very balanced view of how we can and do come into the world. Ironically, from the (non-fiction) childbirth movies I've previously mentioned, plus one my doula shared with me, I've decided there is a better way that I want to try. Further reading has confirmed that I think I'm doing the right thing for me. Not for everyone, but definitely for me.

My doula also gave me a copy of this article on The Purpose and Power of Pain in Labour. I've reread it several times and I'm still not very good at summarizing why this makes sense to me. However, it explains it more or less.

Essentially, being in pain during labour cues the mother to prepare to give birth, stimulates hormones needed for birth and a bunch of other good things. If you miss some of the good things, some of the later good things around breastfeeding and bonding might be more difficult or delayed, etc.

So all of this sounds good, bonding, breastfeeding, happy baby, etc. However, the inquisitive reader may ask, may we assume these are the reasons why BB is choosing natural childbirth? Oddly enough, no.

BB is choosing natural childbirth out of - wait for it - selfish reasons. Does that sound ironic? Maybe initially, but then:

• In natural childbirth, contractions are less painful and less likely to cause a ruptured uterus than contractions in induced labour.
• Without an epidural, I will feel the contractions more intensely than without, but I will be able to get up and move around (well, without an epidural and without constant fetal monitoring to tie me to a bed) and that moving around can help me manage the pain.
• Epidural = paralysed from the waist down. Not good.
  
• With an epidural, labour can slow down to a speed unacceptable to an obstetrician, often leading them to push for chemically inducing faster contractions or a c-section.
• C-sections are major abdominal surgery. There's a reason why I'll get 8 weeks paid leave after a c-section instead of 6 weeks after vaginal birth - I really won't be able to get up and move around for ages. Not to mention scaring, potential infection, etc.
• I feel that in a birth attended to by midwives and doulas, my desires are more likely respected, and medical interventions only initiated for true emergencies rather than convenience.
• I've mentioned this before, but I just don't like painkillers. Oddly, I keep a lot around the house, but I almost never take them. When at the dentist, if they need to drill my teeth and expect not to have to go too deep, I'll usually ask them to start without numbing/freezing my mouth. I guess I can handle some pain.
  

I can't think of any of my other "selfish" reasons to chose natural childbirth, but please feel free to share yours below!

Also, I have great friends who have adopted a baby born by c-section and the baby is happy and healthy and bonded like glue, so all that good baby stuff - I think the way the baby is delivered can be impactful but overall, it's a whole parenting picture thing for me.

Finally, yes, I am thinking (and reading and listening to podcasts) a lot about parenting and what we'll be doing when little kickypants is out. But I'll leave that (terrifying) topic to another post and thank the good folks at The Parents Journal for their foresight in putting their program on iTunes.

the confirmation

So, as I suspected, I'm looking for a new healthcare practitioner and place to deliver the baby. (Spoiler alert - I think I've already found one but I'll get there...)

Monday was the day of my second prenatal checkup. I had my BP taken by a nurse practitioner, and that's still normal thankfully. I'd been having headaches and I was worried it wasn't just coffee withdrawl. Then the obstretician came in.

At this practice, they have a pile of doctors and they encourage the pregnant ladies to try to have at least one checkup with each of them, so we get to meet them all... in case one of them is on call when we go into labour.

So this new guy comes in and introduces himself. We chat for a few minutes, and he lets me know that my recent tests and sonograms all look good and normal. He asked how I'm feeling and I said other than this nasty cold, I'm feeling normal and good. He said so no nausea, no fatigue? I said normal, sorry to confuse you by saying good! I explained that I figured that nausea and fatigue is normal so why complain about it.

Then he said something that gave me a transition to confirm my understanding that all patients at this practice deliver babies at Hospital A. He said yes, except premature babies go to Hospital B. I asked what Hospital A is like, if it's a fairly normal western hospital set up with separate labour, delivery and recovery rooms, or if it has a birthing center. He confirmed the former.

I asked if women in labour at Hospital A are allowed to eat or drink during labour, as I'm told this is important in maintaining your strength. He said it's up to the attending doctor, but that he doesn't allow women to eat and only drink a little liquids in case she has to have a c-section.

I said speaking of ceseareans, could he say what his rate of c-section babies is, or what the rate is for the practice or Hospital A. He said his own rate was 37%, like that was no big deal, and that he wasn't sure but he thought that both the practice and Hospital A had similar rates.

At that point I just wanted to get out of there! I started nodding and smiling and thanking him for his help and getting ready to leave. He reminded me that he was supposed to check the baby's heartrate with the fetoscope - very cool! So I let him do that but got the heck out of there after that.

I asked at the front desk about the practice mentioning having nurse midwives on staff on their website, and I was told, yes, that's the nice practitioner you saw last time (I've seen her a few times and she even remembered me when I reminded her of my maiden name, she's lovely). I said can I have her deliver my baby? But apparently this nurse midwife doesn't deliver babies. Surreal. I thought that was the what midwives do? I guess not...

So I went home, continued having a nasty cold. Watched this minor local event on CNN all day Tuesday and then was still feeling nasty and sick on Wednesday so I stayed home. Wednesday, I started Googling and found a few birthing centers. I called the closest one and quizzed them on their policies and practices, and really liked what I heard. I've made an appointment to see them for my next checkup - it will include an orientation and tour of the birthing center. I can bring DH and my doula if I want too!

So I'm a happy camper. We have this amazing, inspiring family in the White House, and I am on a path towards having the birth I really want to make happen.